OK THIS IS HOW I FEEL SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND RATHER THAN TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK AND MAKING UP HOW I FEEL AND THINKING THAT ALL I WANT IS ATTENTION AND TO BE THE LEADER AND CONTROL FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       It all started with the boys  lying to me IM sorry but I just don't handle being lied to very well lying is a big deal to me, I take it very personally and offensively. THAT'S JUST HOW I FEEL! Then I just started to feel left out. All of a sudden everything started changing. Frannie and Hannah started to be like butt buddies, and I felt left out all the time, between the notes and the inside jokes and everything. And then it was like I made a big deal about the POD concert thing because I had been feeling left out and then all of a sudden my friends were making plans without me, and I was the last person to be called. I felt so un wanted, and unimportant! Then all this was building up and the last straw was the other night when Frannie forgot to call me till she was on walker road and I was at the town center where she had told me to meet her!! I mean, look, if you say I have no reason to be mad or upset fine but I think I have just showed you all I do have good reason.
        NOW if you agree with every thing I said or not fine but it's still how I feel, and as my friends I thought you would respect, and understand that. But, I guess not because I though when I got upset my friends would see that I was being stupid and mad and angry and that they would take some interest in the fact that their friend was upset and try to find out why, but rather everyone ganged up on me and made up shit about how I feel and how I have no reason to be mad!!! Well you can say that I want to control or be queen all you want but all I really want is to be a part of everything, not to be left out or be the last person called to take part in things, and I really didn't think that was too much to ask, but I guess I was wrong.
        Another thing, you can say I want attention all you want, and your right, I do, but last time I checked that wasn't a crime when someone feels hurt and left out they want attention even more than usual and they expect to get it from the people who care about them, but again, I seem to be wrong. And for all of you who are convinced I think I am queen, one last thing was that I was a part of this group from the beginning. It was me Ryan Colin Dan. They were my boys. I loved them more than anyone else. Well things have changed, our group is bigger and that is all good with me cause I love all you guys to death: Nick, Brent, Carrie, Christine, Frannie, Hannah, Jim, chuck and if I forgot anyone I am sorry.
         But the way I feel is I have been here from the beginning, and I have always done everything to try to keep everyone happy and together and ya know we have all grown and I guess that my efforts are not needed anymore but I still feel as though its all totally forgotten and I don't feel that's right and it hurts, Its like I am not appreciated at all for the things I have done, or my self. I don't want anyone to be like your so great or GROVEL AT MY FEET FRAN! I just want to remain a part of things and not be left out which I already explained! And also if you are going to say to me "well you isolated your self" I most defiantly did not. I have not, not wanted to talk to anyone! Yes, I did say things like "this group sucks ass i am sick of this shit i want out yada yada yada."  But guess what, I was PISSED OFF HURT MAD SUPER ANGRY and please tell me who doesn't say mean stuff when they are mad and I am sorry for saying that but I am only human and that's what we do when we get mad WE YELL, GET OVER IT, WE ALL DO! Ok well I think that is enough to make anyone read in one sitting but Frannie and Colin, I still need to talk to the both of you cause I have more to say about why I am upset with you so please rather than telling me I am wrong in being upset try to listen, unless that is too much to ask of someone I thought was my friend!!!!!

~Jessica